No Result
View All Results
Military Families
SUBSCRIBE FREE
No Result
View All Results
 Military Families
SUBSCRIBE FREE
Military Families

Self-love as a military spouse is a must to thrive

By Rachel LaBud

AmeriForce Staff
by AmeriForce Staff
June 15, 2019
Self love

Rachel LaBud is an Air Force wife which means “home” is wherever the military sends her. Submitted photo.

Tweet

Military family lives are in so much flux that many spouses discredit themselves for the value in which they truly hold. We need to harness self-love on a deeper level to stop being our own worst enemies.

The military lifestyle is a constant state of “hurry up and wait.” Wait for orders to drop, deployment to end or the next duty assignment. There are months, and even years, of uncertainty. However, while we are waiting, we should practice self-love. For some, that might be a bubble bath, a long walk or a glass of wine.

I realized this after we moved back to the U.S. after an overseas assignment. After years on the professional sidelines, I was excited to reenter the workforce. I polished my resume, applied for jobs and hoped for the best. I was motivated, committed and ready for a position where I could thrive.

Months rolled by and I still didn’t have a job. I passed on a few opportunities for various reasons, but I felt my self-esteem and cautious optimism chip away each time I didn’t hear back after an application or interview.

Self-love Heart
Self-love is about accepting where you are today. Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR.

After three years out of my career field, I was in no-man’s-land somewhere between entry- and mid-level. I went on some great interviews and became excited about a few possibilities, but nothing stuck. I eventually found a job, and while it’s a great fit, I realized that the mythical job I was chasing wasn’t going to bring me happiness and fulfillment. That starts with me.

Looking back, I’m disappointed with how I spoke about and to myself during my job search. At the time, my self-worth was tied to my career. I joked with my husband that I shouldn’t go to his high school reunion. After all, who would want to show off an unemployed wife? I would never allow any of my friends or family to speak about themselves this way, so why was it easy to tear myself down?

We often reserve our harshest words for ourselves. “Why did you bother getting a degree? You can’t even use it,” I whispered to myself after each rejection. I was trying to measure myself against someone else’s journey or definition of success instead of celebrating my path and what makes me unique.

Self-love Jump
Military spouses need to recognize their own worth. Photo by Quang Anh Ha Nguyen.

I took a hard look in the mirror one day and realized that I was sabotaging my happiness, and I was in desperate need of a little self-love. It wasn’t about face masks or treating myself; it was about accepting where I am today.

I can be on top of the world one day, and feel the weight of military life crashing down upon me the next, and that’s okay! That’s the beauty of life. When those negative thoughts start to creep back in, I try to take a second to acknowledge them before continuing. I might need 24 hours, but then it’s time to move on and make the most of the situation.

My journey is so different than that of some of my closest friends and family, and that’s okay. As military spouses, there’s so much out of our control, but we can control how we speak to ourselves. We can also work to treat ourselves to some much needed self-love. The spouses I’ve met are some of the strongest, funniest, most caring, loyal and resilient people I know. We’re all rock stars, but sometimes we need a reminder.

I’ll always have moments of doubt or self-pity, and I know being a military spouse will continue to challenge me in unexpected ways. I don’t know where we’ll be, or what my life will look like in a year or six months from now, but I hope that I can continue to treat myself with the kindness, respect and love I deserve.

Read comments
Tags: "Military spouse employmentMilitary Spousemilitary spouse bloggingmilitary spouse communityMilitary Spouse SupportSelf-love
Tweet30
AmeriForce Staff

AmeriForce Staff

Related Posts

Military-themed jewelry collection captures transitions of unique lifestyle
Military Life

Military-themed jewelry collection captures transitions of unique lifestyle

1 week ago
Air Force wife prepares others for realities of motherhood
Military Health

Air Force wife prepares others for realities of motherhood

3 weeks ago
Gold Star wife honors late husband by ‘paying it forward’
Military Spouses

Gold Star wife honors late husband by ‘paying it forward’

3 weeks ago
Military spouse chef curates community over cuisine
Military Life

Military spouse chef curates community over cuisine

1 month ago
Military Spouse of the Year
Military Life

Legacy voices of the Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year® program

1 month ago
OPINION: The sacrifices for military readiness are a family affair
Opinion

OPINION: The sacrifices for military readiness are a family affair

1 month ago

Ads

Military News, delivered to your inbox

Get a free copy of MILITARY FAMILIES delivered to your inbox each month

Let's connect!

ABOUT US

  • OUR STORY
  • OUR TEAM
  • OUR WRITERS

MAGAZINE

  • 2023 MILITARY INSURANCE GUIDE
  • GET PRINT
  • GET DIGITAL
  • GET THE NEWSLETTER

ADVERTISE

  • GET OUR MEDIA KIT
  • CFC/NONPROFITS
  • PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

SUBMISSIONS

  • SUBMIT YOUR STORY

Never miss out on the latest stories.

© 2022 Military Families by AmeriForce. Privacy Policy | Terms | Site by Swiss Commerce

Thank you for your interest in Military Families Magazine!

Thank you for your interest in Military Families Magazine!

Thank you for your interest in Military Families Magazine!

No Result
View All Results
  • News
  • Military Life
    • Deployment
    • Relocation
    • Military Spouses
    • Military Kids
  • Education
  • Career
    • Transition
    • Entrepreneur
  • Veterans
  • Health
  • Money
    • Military Deals & Discounts
  • OFF DUTY
    • Travel
    • Beyond the Base
    • Food & Recipes
    • Book Reviews & Roundups
    • Entertainment
    • Sports
  • OPINION
  • About us
    • Submissions
    • Pitch us
    • Submit your story
    • Our story
    • Our team
    • Our writers
  • Magazine
    • Get Resources
    • Get print
    • Get digital
    • Get the newsletter
  • Advertise
    • Get our media kit
    • CFC/Nonprofits
    • Publisher’s statement

© 2022 Military Families by AmeriForce. Site by SCBW.