Army spouse Toby Ralph wrestled and ran track in high school, but with a naturally thin and undefined frame, he always felt insecure. Even after becoming a police officer, he still had a nagging feeling there was more he wanted to achieve.
“I was always small, and I was tired of people calling me a little guy,” Ralph said. “I got sick of being messed with and wanted to put on some weight and get bigger.”
A close friend introduced him to lifting weights, and as Ralph puts it, the rest is history.
“It was the spark that ignited the flame that still burns to this day,” Ralph said.
Having measurable fitness goals gave Ralph a sense of purpose, motivation and discipline. Before long, he found himself acting as a complimentary personal trainer. People asked for his advice at the gym, and fortunately, his tips were producing real results.
Taking the leap into personal training
While living in Georgia, Ralph met Army Sgt. 1st Class Raven Barbieri, who eventually became his wife. This turn of fate was the final push that inspired him to dive into personal training as a full-time career.
He was good at his job as a police officer, but it was time for a change.
“When I knew that we were going to get married, I thought to myself, ‘I need to find something that is portable,’” Ralph said.
After years of trial and error in a quest to reach his own fitness goals, Ralph realized he could save other people the heartache by passing on his passion and knowledge.
“I could help them,” he said. “I could save them the time, save them the trouble and save them some injuries.”
Ralph has been training clients for the last six years, with certifications from the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) and International Sports Sciences Association (ISSA) — which offers special pricing to the military community. Starting his own personal training business wasn’t easy, but the fear of failure only seemed to push him further. In fact, he said he was inspired by the notion that failure or success rests solely on him.
“So many people are afraid of vulnerability … They think they’ll be viewed as weak,” Ralph said. “The only people who are going to view you as weak for showing vulnerability are weak people.”
Today, Ralph juggles life as a father and personal trainer in Tampa, Florida, where his wife is stationed at MacDill Air Force Base. He acknowledges that reinventing yourself, let alone your career, is never easy. This is especially true for those navigating a deployment or PCS.
But at the end of the day, what feels like a small side hustle may have big potential.
“You have to embrace that fear and understand that nothing good ever came out of being comfortable,” Ralph said.
Accepting uniqueness
For Ralph, fitness is a balancing act between learning to accept your own capabilities while pushing yourself to excel.
He urges his clients to acknowledge that genetics and natural body shape have an impact on results.
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“How your muscles develop and how you carry fat is largely dependent on your individual genetics,” Ralph said. “These are things that no amount of training can overcome.”
Whether it’s in career or fitness endeavors, Ralph warns that comparison is a trap that will only lead to distraction and disappointment.
“You’re never going to be the person in the picture,” he said. “You can only be you, so be the best version of yourself.”
Are you looking to get fit in 2023? Toby Ralph has three important reminders for pursuing health and wellness goals:
- Be cautious about where you get your health and fitness guidance: The internet is full of good and bad information. Hint: A personal trainer can help!
- Beware of fad diets: Find something that works for you. This is the only way to remain consistent.
- It’s OK to stumble: Yes, even personal trainers have cheat meals! Find a balance between physical fitness and overall happiness.
