I had the unique experience of being a military kid for 20 years then taking on the role of military spouse. As my family and I prepared to move to our next duty station, I found myself reflecting on the impact this had on who I’ve become and what my own son is now experiencing as he walks a similar path of changing schools, being the new kid and saying goodbye to a parent.
Looking back on my own journey, here are three of the biggest lessons I learned from being a military kid:
Adapting: I went to eight different schools growing up. With every move I had to learn how to adapt, how to fit into the local area, how to adapt to a new home and how to seek out the activities I enjoyed (which often meant putting myself out there). And probably the hardest part, frequent moves meant learning how to make new friends everywhere we went. Basically, I had to figure out how to make my life the best it could be over and over — some places were easier than others.
Respect: At a very young age, I learned respect. This translated to when I was at school, participating in sports, sleepovers or just being in public. Respect for the bus driver, respect for the cafeteria lady, respect for the teacher, respect for other kids and adults. As most military kids probably can relate to, disrespect was not tolerated in my house. Even when my dad was deployed, these morals, values and traits stuck with me. I was always respectful, always greeted someone with eye contact and a firm handshake.
Stepping up: From the age of 6 on, whenever my dad deployed, as he was leaving our house he would look at me and say, “you’re the man of the house while I’m gone.” When I was young, I took this to mean do well in school and be good for your mom. When I turned 11 my first brother was born and another brother after that two years later. Being the man of the house took on some new meanings then. I was learning how to change diapers, put bottles in the steamer and mix formula to try to help out my very busy mom. Like a utility player in baseball, anywhere I was needed I was willing to be to help out.
Being a military kid is not easy. Growing up there were times that I wished I didn’t have to leave my friends every few years and that I had more time with my family. But, as an adult now, I can appreciate the lessons I’ve learned and the man it shaped me to be as I live the military life in a different way. All of these lessons and skills are invaluable. I am thankful for the roads that got me here.
