A picture frame on a bedroom dresser in the home of military couple Philip and Olivia Kuntz in Okinawa, Japan, displays their list of goals about spirituality, fitness, marriage and family.
Behind it are stacked previous lists that Phil, a Marine Corps chief warrant officer, and Olivia, a special education teacher, wrote down when relocating to new duty stations. The couple started this tradition eight years ago in Nigeria, one of five places they’ve lived in during the last 15 years.
Outlining goals “helps to reflect on these during the ups and downs of adjusting to a new place,” Olivia explained, “and gives us something to work towards as a family, couple and individuals.”
The family — which includes children Liam, 6, Lillie, 4, and “fur babies” Winston, 11, and Franklin, 10 — arrived in Japan in August 2022.
Before the children were born, Phil and Olivia lived in Oceanside, California, from 2012 to 2015; and Abuja, Nigeria, from 2015 to 2016. That was followed by Berlin, Germany, from 2016 to 2018, and Sneads Ferry, North Carolina, from 2018 to 2022.
Moving so often is hard, but exciting, said Olivia, who shares with her husband a love for discovering new cultures, meeting new people and trying different foods. Despite that, it’s difficult to be so far from family, and moving became tougher after they had children, they said.
“It really takes a full year at each place before you begin to feel comfortable and ‘at home,’ and then before long after that, it is time to begin preparing for the next move,” Phil said.
The family especially loved their neighborhood and friends in North Carolina, and thoroughly enjoyed living in Berlin, which allowed them to sightsee across Europe. Abroad, they learn to get by in the local language with basics like “excuse me,” “please,” and “thank you,” and knowing how to order at restaurants, navigate grocery stores and find bathrooms.
Olivia has collected a variety of items while traveling, such as Polish pottery, German Christmas mugs and nativity scenes from various countries. A painted canvas of an elephant photo they took in Nigeria hangs in their home’s hallway.
“It is fun to look around our house and see items from different places we have been,” Olivia said.
Both from central Illinois, Phil and Olivia met when she was a student at Illinois State University and he was on leave from deployment. They had a long-distance relationship while Phil was assigned to Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas, with Olivia flying in once a month for about 2 ½ years until he got orders for Camp Pendleton.
Their first experience abroad, in Nigeria, was challenging but intensely rewarding, Olivia said.
There were practical difficulties, like living in a compound and being limited to staying within a 7-mile radius for safety reasons. Apprehensive about driving, Olivia had to rely on her husband for transportation. There was also the culture shock of living in a country where many don’t have access to electricity, clean water and health care.
Still, Nigeria burrowed its way into her heart with its “beautiful culture and beautiful people,” turning her into a kinder, more patient person, Olivia said. “Before, I would get bent out of shape about things like having to wait in line, or if my order wasn’t just right,” she said. “But in life, those are such trivial things.”
Living thousands of miles away from home also forced the couple to lean on each other and work as a team in all respects, which strengthened their marriage, Olivia said. “We left Nigeria as better people and a better couple.”
Fellow military families facing station changes can start preparing by researching their new duty stations and planning nearby trips to look forward to, Olivia said. Being organized — such as carefully labeling all boxes — helps immensely. If you have pets, be prepared to deal with a lot of paperwork, different in each country and always nerve-wracking, she said.
It’s essential to lean on each other for support, the couple said.
“There are so many emotions and ups and downs during a PCS (permanent change of station). You will feel different things at different times,” Olivia said. “Feel these feelings and support each other as you work through them. You are stronger together.”
She and husband are “so incredibly grateful” for the opportunity to travel the world, Olivia said. “We have learned and grown at each place we have been able to be at. Although there have been plenty of difficult moments, we wouldn’t trade our experiences.”
In the end, the richness of their experience is all about others, Phil said. “The people we have met at each and every duty station are what have made them all invaluable experiences.”
