Making friends as an adult is hard enough. Then you add constant moves, deployments and a completely different vocabulary (TDY, BAH, PCS) to the equation, and it can be nearly impossible to make genuine and lasting connections. The good news is you don’t have to look far to find someone else who’s been in your shoes — military spouses are always quick to bring you into the fold. Here are nine reasons why they make the best friends.
They have anything you need.
Mary Poppins’ magic bag has nothing on a military spouse’s closet. Need an extra filter for your HVAC? Someone on your street has one and will walk it over at 6 p.m. Forgot the chicken broth for a recipe or need a ladder to hang Christmas lights? Just ask.
Not long ago, a friend posted in our on-base neighborhood Facebook group looking to borrow a rack for displaying blankets. Someone else immediately piped up that she had one she was willing to just give away. Another was having a hard time finding a specific brand of formula for her baby — again, a spouse came to the rescue. Spouse groups are a built-in “buy nothing” community where you pass along school uniforms, outgrown toys and unused home decor, and if you accidentally buy seeded grapes from the commissary, someone is guaranteed to take them off your hands.
They can relate to whatever you’re going through.
Need to vent about the fact your husband has duty for the third time in less than a month? Tired and burnt out from solo parenting so often? Struggling to connect after a months-long separation? Grouchy about how hard it is to find a good doctor or the right hair salon or a place to get decent sushi? You can always count on a fellow military spouse to listen and just get it.
They are always willing to lend a hand.
Military spouses are the first to step up in times of crisis — whether you have to take an unexpected trip to the ER and need someone to watch the kids, or a local young service member recently got custody of his twins and doesn’t have any of the baby essentials.
The spouse network played a huge role in helping get refugees out of Afghanistan in 2021, too, facilitating evacuations, communicating with people on the ground, and raising money and donations for those in need. Military spouses have some of the biggest, most generous hearts, and the way this community mobilizes and comes together will never cease to amaze you.
They are incredibly talented.
Military spouses are some of the most hard-working people you’ll ever meet, and they’re good at a lot more than “just” being spouses. Name it, and you can find a spouse who does it. From accountants to police officers to biologists to teachers to artists to bakers to hair stylists to service members themselves, military spouses are smart, competent, and incredibly resourceful.
They have a great sense of humor.
There are just some parts of military life that if you don’t laugh about, you’ll cry. Military spouses can find the humor in pretty much any situation (even if it’s pure sarcasm).
READ MORE: 8 cringeworthy things military spouses are tired of hearing
They have the best solutions and advice.
My military spouse social networks are full of members asking for and receiving advice about everything from marriage to parenting to military life to PCS issues to the best brand of mattress or couch. If you’re wondering what retirement gift to get for a husband who has everything, how to handle a picky eater, or how to set a boundary with your mother-in-law — look no further. Spouses are a wealth of knowledge and information.
They have the inside scoop.
Speaking of information, military spouses always have the tea, and they’re glad to spill it . . . to the right people. They have a super-fast and efficient network of communication, and let’s be honest — they almost always find out things before the service member does.
They know how to have fun.
Military life is hard and stressful, which is all the more reason to let loose every once in a while. From Bunco nights to impromptu happy hours at the park, military spouses are guaranteed to show you a good time.
They have your back.
When push comes to shove, you know you’ll always have a friend in your corner. A military spouse will be your biggest cheerleader, and the shoulder you can cry on when things are hard. At the end of the day, there’s no one else you’d rather have along on this crazy ride with you. And even though miles and time zones may separate you at times, you’ll never have to look far for a smiling face, a listening ear, and a friend for life.
