If the Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year® program had a tagline, it should read: It’s not just an award unless that’s what you want it to be. For most AFI MSOY winners, the title is a golden ticket to opportunity, mentorship, and support in a community of exceptional military spouses.
Now in its 14th year, the AFI MSOY program recognizes military spouses annually for their leadership, personal commitment, and contributions to the military and civilian communities in which they live and work. In 2020, there were 116 base-level winners from military installations in the U.S. and overseas, with 18 finalists vying for Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, and National Guard branch-level recognition and selection as AFI MSOY. Each year, there are hundreds of nominations accompanied by thousands of votes.
AFI MSOY winners are a “who’s who” of changemakers. Honorees have used their platforms to usher in reforms to the military’s Exceptional Family Member Program, help pass the Military Spouse Employment Act, advocate for mental health issues, promote financial literacy, launch podcasts, author books, and more.
“It’s not a stretch by any means to say that this program has changed lives,” AFI Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer Lori Simmons said.
AFI assumed ownership of the program in 2018 after spending a decade as title sponsor. Under AFI’s guidance, the program has grown to include the AFI Marily Considine Pursue Scholarship, which provides professional development opportunities to current and past spouse-of-the-year recipients.
Simmons says AFI, a property insurance company that prides itself on personalized customer service, has a long-standing commitment to strengthening military families and honoring military spouses’ sacrifices. She says AFI’s work with the program allows the company to recognize spouses “for their strength, resiliency, and potential.”
“A lot of times spouses don’t necessarily realize their potential. They don’t necessarily start out with a lot of confidence in their ability to make a difference in the community. Once they get the wind under their wings, they soar,” she said. “It’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve been involved in within my life.”
Here’s what AFI MSOY winners are doing now and how winning the title has impacted their advocacy:
Brian Alvarado
Service branch: Navy (retired)
Title: 2018 AFI Navy Spouse of the Year, 2016 AFI Naval Base Coronado SOY
When his spouse retired from active duty in 2019, Alvarado was offered a full-time position with Hiring Our Heroes, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit, where he serves as director, workforce development.
“Supporting military families and providing the opportunity for economic stability for them is such an incredible way to spend my days,” Alvarado said.
An advocate for military spouse employment, Alvarado urges military spouses to use volunteer work and education as a springboard to a fulfilling career. Too often, he says, spouses fail to recognize the transferrable skills volunteer work creates.
“I beg, beg, beg my fellow military spouses to stop underselling themselves,” he said. “Just because you haven’t been paid to utilize a skill doesn’t mean that you don’t have that skill. What you learned in education, what you have learned in volunteer work creates a skillset that you own and is marketable.”
What value did the AFI MSOY program bring to your life?
“I have walked the halls of Congress. I have been to the White House. I sat down in a one-on-one interview with the Second Lady of the United States,” Alvarado said. “All of these things happened because I opened myself up to this community and I participated and I gave back.”
What is your advice to other spouses?
Alvarado would like to see all AFI MSOYs take advantage of the networking opportunities within the organization.
Alvarado says that as an AFI MSOY, you have to be able to be vulnerable enough to open yourself up and willing to lend a helping hand.
“It’s a two-way street,” he said. “It’s not just an award. You don’t just get a certificate or a medal. You are given a community with this program. How you operate within that community is going to index what you’re going to get out of it.”
Lori Bell
Service branch: Air Force
Title: 2010 AFI Military Spouse of the Year®
“I’m a military spouse because my husband serves. So, I’ll wear that badge proudly standing alongside him,” Lori Bell, who is an Air force veteran and spouse, said. Between 2010 and 2012, Bell received a great deal of notoriety during her national media tour. But what took the cake was being one of the military spouses in 2013 on Oprah Winfrey’s ‘My Favorite Things’ show. During this time, she published a book on personal development and worked as a life coach.
Lately, Bell has shifted her focus to helping couples to strengthen their military marriages and working to help support women and military families.
What value has the AFI MSOY Program brought to your life?
“As my husband took on more leadership positions, more was required of me,” she added. “So, it did usher in a shift in the way that I choose to live my life. [But] I didn’t know I had influence or anything like that until I became an MSOY. That prepared me for being an installation commander’s wife.”
What is your advice to other spouses?
“Spouses become very skilled in a lot of different areas. Use all of that to improve the life of military families and the community at large,” Bell suggests.
Stacey Benson
Service branch: Coast Guard
Title: 2015 AFI Coast Guard Spouse of the Year
A professional photographer for 22 years, in 2019 Stacey Benson launched MILSTOCK, a stock photography website featuring military-inspired images. Recently, she joined PCSGrades as community outreach manager.
“I love my military community. It doesn’t matter which branch of service it is. If somebody needs help, I’m there,” Benson said.
When the federal government shutdown left some Coast Guard families struggling to feed their children in 2019, Benson sprang into action. On the eve of the first missed paycheck for the Coast Guard, she organized Be the Light Food Pantry in Astoria, Oregon, supplying hundreds of military families with donated food, diapers, and other necessities.
“We were able to raise $40,000 in a very short amount of time,” Benson said. We didn’t have a pantry. We had a grocery store. We were the light for families in a moment of darkness.”
What value has the AFI MSOY Program brought to your life?
“Once you are in the MSOY community, you are always in it,” Benson said. “It has broadened my network for sure. I’m in a group of movers and shakers. If there is a problem I don’t know how to fix, I go to my group of spouses.”
What is your advice to other spouses?
“Get out into your military spouse community and make friends and network,” Benson said. “Experience all that military life brings your way no matter if it’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. Stay strong. If you ever feel like your drowning in whatever situation you are in, reach out to someone in your community. I guarantee there will be someone with a helping hand to help lift you up.”
Angela Caban
Service branch: Army National Guard (veteran)
Title: 2013 AFI New Jersey National Guard SOY
Today, Angela Caban serves as director of Military Saves, a nonprofit organization dedicated to increasing the financial readiness of service members and their families. Caban says she is passionate about helping military families forge a better financial future because of her own family’s money struggles during her husband’s military career.
“There were a lot of things we didn’t understand as a National Guard family with benefits and personal struggles that we were ashamed to talk about. What I do now is talk openly about it because I know there are families out there going through similar challenges,” she said.
“Now that my husband is out, I want to do what I can to give back to the military community,” Caban said. “For me, the most important thing in my life is to continue supporting the military community in any way I possibly can.”
What value has the AFI MSOY Program brought to your life?
“Wow. I think the biggest value for me — and it just puts a smile on my face every time I think about it — is I wouldn’t have made the connections, the friends that I’ve made and had this tremendous amount of support without the MSOY program,” Caban said. “It’s just been such a joy because as a National Guard spouse, I felt so isolated.”
What is your advice to other spouses?
“Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask questions,” Caban said. “We’re such a friendly, welcoming community. No matter what it is you might be feeling, there’s someone out there who was in your shoes.”
Elizabeth Castro
Service branch: Marine Corps
Title: 2019 & 2020-2021 AFI Camp Courtney SOY
Elizabeth Castro says the pandemic has given her a chance to pause, reflect and reassess what is important to her. So, she’s scaling back her volunteer efforts to dedicate time to one or two organizations rather than spreading herself too thin.
“It’s OK if you stop volunteering with certain organizations and shift your focus elsewhere because you’re in a different phase of your life.”
As the parent of a gay son, Castro said PFLAG — an organization for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people and their families — will be the focus of her attention going forward. Her goal is to help PFLAG become an important resource for the military and LatinX communities.
“Both the military community and my cultural background are very important to me,” Castro said. “This would be a great way to give back and a great way to bridge those communities together and help at the same time.”
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
Castro’s first reaction upon learning she was nominated for Camp Courtney SOY was to doubt she was worthy of the honor. Her “imposter syndrome” ended when the spouses who nominated her explained the impact she had made on their lives, particularly spouses stationed in Okinawa, where Castro was a founding team member of Spouse Guide 2 Okinawa.
As an AFI SOY, Castro says she now has a network of spouses she can turn to when helping fellow spouses.
“If I have a spouse that comes to me and says I need help with this or I need information about entrepreneurship or how to start a nonprofit, I have a way to help . . . I can make those connections for them,” she said. “I can help them with their passion, with their ‘Why?’”
What is your advice to other spouses?
“If you’re nominated for this award, accept it because the nomination is a ‘win,’” Castro said. “If you win your base, you then become part of this amazing and phenomenal support group and network of military spouses that will always be there for you.”
Cecilia Dyer
Service branch: Army
Title: 2020-2021 AFI Joint Base Myer-Henderson Hall SOY
Cecilia Dyer advocates for military families to be eligible for chronic pain management treatment.
“My reason for doing this is to help people deal with their pain every day and to understand it better,” she said.
As a chronic pain sufferer, Dyer is an advocate for drug-free, non-invasive pain therapies such as massage, chiropractic care, and acupuncture. Though these treatments are available at designated military hospitals to active-duty service members (including activated National Guard and Reserve members), military families cannot universally receive these treatments through TRICARE.
Dyer is interested in directly engaging with policymakers, military base leadership, and TRICARE to lobby for pain management treatment and services for military families.
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
Dyer says that while her opportunities for networking and public speaking have been limited during the pandemic year, she was able to brief students at the Sergeant Major Academy, NCO Leadership Center of Excellence at Fort Bliss about the program.
“I told the students when you become a sergeant major and go to your next post, look out for the spouses that are doing great things in their community,” Dyer said.
What is your advice to other spouses?
“There are so many resources to help manage anything one needs and things to do like volunteer,” Dyer said. “Life as a military spouse has its challenges, but always remember to be humble, positive, and kind.”
Rebecca Hyde
Service branch: Navy (retired)
Title: 2020 AFI Naval Station Rota SOY
Rebecca Hyde is the co-founder and president of Media Beach, an independent contractor with Vet Jobs. She’s rebranded her nonprofit Dependastrong into the military support group Milspouseology and is also a contributor to the Milspouse Conversations podcast.
After a diagnosis of bipolar disorder near the end of her husband’s 22-year Navy career, Hyde found a passion for bringing awareness to mental health struggles many military families face.
Though she had long battled depression and anxiety, she hid the extent of her illness from both her husband and his military commands for most of his career, believing that as a military spouse it was best “to keep your troubles to yourself.” After seeking out and receiving the support she needed, Hyde wants to help others by sharing her mental health journey.
“Mental health, especially in the military community, is directly related to the amount and type of support you have,” Hyde said. “If you feel like you don’t have support and you’re just kind of out there flipping and flopping around on your own, it can be very suffocating. You almost feel like you’re drowning because in the military community there are so many unknowns and uncertainties.”
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
“It’s an alumni of people that once you’re connected, you’re connected,” Hyde said. “Everybody has everybody’s back and everybody is there with nothing but love and support…It feels good to have that, especially after retirement, because I was worried I would lose that sense of community, that connection with the military and with military families.”
What is your advice to other spouses?
“Check on your kids because the suicide rate in military kids is astronomical,” she said.
Kaprece James
Service branch: Marine Corps
Title: 2019 AFI Naval Postgraduate School Monterey SOY
Kaprece James is the founder and CEO of Stella’s Girls, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering women and young girls around the globe.
“Since this honor, Stella’s Girls has expanded to serving women and girls in seven countries across three continents,” James said. “We are currently working with PsychArmor to create suicide prevention and domestic violence resources and training for Ugandan and Liberian Army military spouses due to the lack of military spouse support in their countries.”
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
“AFI MSOY has allowed me to connect with more amazing spouses outside of the Marine Corps that I may not have had the opportunity to meet besides when I was stationed in Okinawa and interacting with all branches,” James said.
“Thanks to this award, it allowed me to start a second nonprofit, Military Hearts Matter, with the 2019 AFI Military Spouse of the Year® Holly C. Vega, with a focus on heart disease in our military community,” she added.
What is your advice to other spouses?
As the nation and military confront issues with racism, James believes military spouses can be a force for change.
“With such a collective group of military spouses that we have, it’s taking the opportunity to get to know one another and create change in our local communities. … As active-duty military spouses, we have more freedom than our service members to be able to advocate,” James said.
Sarah Streyder
Service branch: Space Force
Title: 2020-2021 Marine Corps Base Quantico
Sarah Streyder is committed to helping military spouses and family members raise their voices on foreign policy issues that affect their lives. She believes that uncomplicating the voting process for military families is the first step in that process. Her nonprofit, Secure Families Initiative, has become a recognized brand for nonpartisan resources related to voting and advocacy.
“Voting is key to a lot of change in our country and at all levels, local, state, and federal,” Streyder said. “It’s this civic duty that lots of us are naturally inclined to do, but when you’re a military family it can be extra tricky…I realized we could really use some education on how to navigate the process and some policy advocacy about how to make the process easier to navigate.”
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
“I am so grateful for the network of kick-ass military spouses that I’ve been privileged to meet through the AFI MSOY program,” Streyder said.
What is your advice to other spouses?
“It’s easy to doubt yourself and opt yourself out of processes,” Streyder said. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I guarantee every single spouse that I know has in one way or another contributed positively to our community of military spouses. You shouldn’t think there is only one positive contribution that counts.”
M.J. Boice
Service branch: Marine Corps
Title: 2015 AFI Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island SOY
Since receiving her title, M.J. Boice has been busy in her professional life where she’s continued to help military families. From a role as a VA benefits advisor to positions at the National Military Family Association and Armed Forces Insurance, she takes pride in continuing to make an impact. She now serves as the director of community outreach for PCSgrades.
Boice says that there is power in military spouses connecting with one another. “Whether that is for resources, career purposes, or simply because I know someone who knows someone who can help, I love helping military spouses.” She says that through connection we find that we aren’t alone in the challenges we face.
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
Boice says that program makes your life fuller, stronger, and better. She says the program has been her lifeline. “I have been permitted the privilege of being that lifeline for others. The relationships I’ve been able to forge through this program are pure, real, and absolutely forever lasting.”
What is your advice to other spouses?
Boice encourages others to lean on their tribe. “If you need help, if you need an intro, if you are down and out and aren’t sure where to start? Start from the beginning,” she said. She encourages others to ask for help — be that advice, encouragement, introductions or maybe just a shoulder or a glass of wine.
Christina Laycock
Service branch: Air Force (retired)
Title: 2016 AFI Beale Air Force Base SOY and 2018 AFI Rivanna Station SOY
Shortly after receiving her first title, Christina Laycock moved from California to Rivanna Station in Virginia. She found the new remote location challenging. “For the first time, I was unsure of how to “plug in” to a location that had no programs for incoming families,” she said. Laycock started a Facebook group that flourished as a source of both community and information.
Her spouse has since retired but she remains active within the community. In her professional life, Laycock is an accountant that specializes in the asset and investment management for high net-worth individuals and families. In her spare time, she serves military families planning for retirement pro-bono.
Laycock’s passion relies in ensuring military spouses have access to resources — be it financial, informational, or social. “It wasn’t until a “more seasoned” military spouse mentored me and took me under her wing to help me. With her guidance, I was able to find resources that allowed me to receive my college education and professional certifications at little to no out of pocket cost to me in a way that accommodated the logistics and needs of my family.”
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
“While the titles and recognition it has given me are very gratifying and validating, the community it has invited me into is the real reward,” she said. She loves that the AFI MSOY community is a group of people who “get things done.” She’s inspired by what this group of spouses can accomplish together.
What is your advice to other spouses?
Laycock encourages others to seek out mentorship opportunities. “If you are a new spouse, seek a mentor from someone who has been a spouse for a while. If you are a “seasoned” spouse, take other new spouses under your wing,” she said. She challenges spouses to try to leave each place just a bit better than how you found it.
Alexandra Panaretos
Service branch: Air Force
Title: AFI 2015 Joint Base San Antonio SOY
Alexandra Panaretos works with companies and executive teams worldwide to reduce their risk via the human element of cybersecurity. Her focus lies in cybersecurity education, data privacy, open-source intelligence, social engineering, insider threats, and behavior change and analytics. In her role, she’s presented internationally at cybersecurity conferences and serves as a mentor to women beginning their careers in STEM.
Panaretos volunteers with law enforcement agencies and neighborhood organizations to educate senior citizens, children, and parents on information security and social media safety. “There are so many ways to be harmed in this digital world, and it’s only through education, conversation, and awareness that we can protect our future,” she said.
What value has the AFI MSOY program brought to your life?
For Panaretos, the MSOY program brought visibility to her work in protecting people and information online. She says that at the time, the mainstream business world didn’t actively discuss human-based risks to cybersecurity outside of e-mail (phishing).
“I was the first civilian-military spouse volunteer to be OPSEC Level II Certified by the Joint Information Operations Warfare Center (JIWOC) and the U.S. Army,” she said. Outside of my platform, the MSOY program provided the luxury of lifetime friends and colleagues. Even after her divorce, she maintains a great group of friends, a connection to the military community, and has continued her work protecting military families.
What is your advice to other spouses?
Panaretos says that spouses shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions or take advantage of the opportunities presented to them. “Take the chance to reinvent yourself or adapt your skillset to the environment that you are in, or where you want to be,” she concluded.
Due to the pandemic, 2020-2021 AFI Military Spouse of the Year® award recipients will be celebrated on September 7 at a Town Hall event. Visit https://msoy.afi.org for updates on the upcoming nomination period.
You can find this story and more in our June issue of Military Families Magazine. Download it here.
*Editor’s note: This article was updated from the print version to include updated information about Cecilia Dyer.
