In the military community, we talk a lot about the buzzword “transitions” — moving from military to civilian life, adjusting to a new duty station, or reintegrating after deployment. But one transition we rarely hear about is just as challenging: moving from overseas back to the United States.
This is what my family and I recently went through, and it’s been harder than we expected.
Starting over
During our time in South Korea, we built a life we loved. It took time, but we grew comfortable with the rhythm of daily life there. Coming back to the U.S., we assumed it would feel natural to “pick up where we left off.” Instead, it feels like starting over.
We landed in Seattle after a 16-hour AMC flight and paid $60 for a Starbucks order. My spouse and I looked at each other and half-joked, “When’s the first flight back?”
We still find ourselves daydreaming about Korean food, the vibrant culture, train rides that our son adored, and the convenience of having everything we needed within walking distance. Those memories are now bittersweet reminders of what we miss.
Transitioning back to CONUS life
What surprised us most was how deeply our son felt the change. At his kindergarten open house, his first question was, “Do I take my shoes off in here?” — a habit he picked up after two years in a Korean preschool. That moment hit me hard. We thought he’d adjust easily, but the reality is he’s struggling to connect with classmates and adapt to a new school culture. Most recently, we realized he will undergo speech therapy since his exposure to the Korean language has created a unique situation where English is now his second language.
It reminded us that kids experience the same transitions we do, sometimes feeling them even more intensely, and they may not always have the words to express it.
This isn’t meant to be a negative take on the U.S. Instead, it’s an honest reminder: transitioning back to stateside life isn’t always easy. It takes time to rebuild routines, reconnect with old norms, and feel grounded again. For us, it’s an ongoing process, but one we’re committed to navigating together as a family.
Tips for adjustment
I’ll never regret our time overseas — it shaped us in ways that will stay with us forever. And if we find ourselves living abroad again, I know we’ll be better prepared for the transitions both ways.
If you’re struggling with the move back, here are a few things that have helped us:
- Own your feelings. Don’t bury the longing for your overseas life — share your stories. Talking about both the good and the hard is part of the healing process.
- Seek support. Whether through friends, counseling or your community, asking for help is not a weakness.
- Rebuild your tribe. Make connections where you are now — find your people again.
- Advocate for your kids. They may not have the language to explain their struggles, but they feel it too. Be their voice and their guide.
Moving back to the U.S. after living overseas is more than just a change of address — it’s a cultural shift that affects the entire family. Give yourself grace, take it one day at a time, and know that you’re not alone in this journey.
