Gold Star daughter reflects on loss of father

Daddy-daughter donut day at school was always the worst for Gold Star child Reese Carwile. Her father’s absence felt agonizingly conspicuous.

“My dad was the type of person who cared about everybody,” she said. “He always said he wanted his guys to make it home before himself every time, and I think that says a lot about his character.”

But Army 1^st Lt. Donald Carwile didn’t make it home to his wife and two daughters from his deployment to Afghanistan in 2008. Reese was only 5 years old and her little sister 3, when their dad was KIA.

Now 21 years old, Carwile is an aspiring physician assistant who is carrying on her father’s legacy of service, most recently as a Freedom Alliance Scholarship Ambassador.

Freedom Alliance, a Virginia-based, military-focused nonprofit, awards scholarships to children whose military parent was killed or severely disabled, along with other support programs. Carwile learned about the scholarships soon after her father’s death. A reporter who helped escort his body home reached out to her mother with the information.

“That was probably the last thing on my mom’s mind, but she was really thankful for him telling her,” Carwile said. “A lot of kids like me don’t know there are people willing to help them in life.”

Since 2021, Freedom Alliance has provided Carwile with a scholarship to attend the University of Mississippi. After graduation in 2025, she aims to attend a physician assistant studies program at Samford University in Alabama with a focus on pediatrics or orthopedics.

“Oh my goodness, to be able to go to school for free essentially, what a blessing!” Carwile said. “Not only financially has Freedom Alliance played a role for me, but they’re so supportive. If you ever need to talk to somebody, they’re one call away.”

That’s exactly what Tom Kilgannon, president of Freedom Alliance since 1998, likes to hear.

“A lot of times you’ll get a thank-you note or an email that conveys how much the scholarship meant to them, which can be very emotional,” said Kilgannon. “You get to understand these men and women a little bit who have sacrificed for our freedoms, because of the values and work ethic and personalities of their kids.”

Carwile remembers her father as strict with high expectations, even for his young daughters, but he was also quick to take them sledding down snow-covered hills on improvised sleds. She found his habit of washing his hats in the dishwasher weird but loved his jokes and selfless nature.

So it was pretty easy for Carwile to slip into Freedom Alliance’s ambassador role, where she travels around the nation meeting with media, community groups and other Gold Star children to discuss her life experiences. It’s something her father would have encouraged.

“To be able to advocate for kids like me, I feel is a special thing,” she said. “On Freedom Alliance’s last retreat for Gold Star kids, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world that they were able to get us together so we could relate and joke about things you wouldn’t normally joke about.”

Bingo, said Kilgannon. Besides getting to remind everyday citizens about the realities of military life — including possible death and permanent injury — Freedom Alliance aims to foster connections between Gold Star children while fighting their isolation.

“What we find a lot with kids who have lost a parent in military service is that they don’t necessarily know each other until they’re brought together by an organization like Freedom Alliance,” Kilgannon said. “But when they meet others who have experienced the same things, it’s an almost immediate bond.”

So he will keep working to grow the $25 million in scholarships Freedom Alliance has awarded so far.

“If I met Reese’s dad in heaven,” Kilgannon said, “I hope he would say, ‘Thanks for watching out for my girls.’”