Officially reintroducing: Alexa LeCureux, an unfiltered Air Force spouse in the thick of raising three babies (ages 7 and under!) while calling out the beautiful mess that is military life. Authentically Alexa is now Ask Alexa, a column that answers our readers’ questions about military life. Check out our social media pages to learn more and submit your questions!
Hi! Allow me to reintroduce myself. I love all food, but escargot and cake make me particularly happy. My favorite duty station was RAF Mildenhall in the UK, but the 17th SOS out of Kadena AB in Japan from 2013 to 2017 will forever be my favorite squadron spouse group, and I strongly believe every base should orchestrate a spouses’ dining-in. The best book — hands down — is “The Nightingale,” and I’m convinced the Spice Girls will never go out of style.
If only every introduction could be this easy!
The idea of walking into a room full of strangers gives me anxiety, and frankly, the introvert in me would rather stay home curled up on the couch. However, the reality of military moves means continuously plunging into the friendship dating pool, taking a needle to our bubble of comfort. Reintroducing yourself at a new squadron or unit is like throwing a lifeline: it’s essential for survival, at least mentally and emotionally. At the very least, you’ll end up with the emergency contact you’ll inevitably need for that fun packet you get to fill out…again.
As tedious and exhausting as the process of meeting new people and making friends can be, there’s usually a welcome committee to get the ball rolling. The members include key spouses, mentors and command spouses. In my experience, I’ve had some awesome, spunky and outgoing spouses who made me feel welcome and included from the beginning.
Once I’ve gotten to know a few of the spouses and feel settled, the extrovert in me likes to make an appearance, and I jump into hosting. I love a casual morning coffee get-together at my place with a relaxed atmosphere where kids are welcome and there’s no pressure to dress up or spend any money. And I always have food. Food has a way of fostering beautiful moments and bringing people together. Some of the best conversations — the deep laughs, the vulnerable truths, and heart-happy tears — have been shared around a kitchen table. Whatever the occasion, reason or no reason at all, I love a delicious spread to create some great memories.
Oh, and I highly recommend name tags! That may sound obvious, yet how many times has your spouse talked about coworkers only using last names, but when you finally meet other spouses out in the wild, you can’t figure who goes with who?! Name tags with last names: check!
Reintroducing yourself can be a struggle. But military life doesn’t have to be so hard, and it certainly doesn’t have to be so lonely. We can choose to make it easier and less uncomfortable, and in the process, we may just meet the family we didn’t choose and gain the village we never had.
