Back in “Maycember,” a fellow entrepreneur asked me an off-the-cuff, tongue-in-cheek question:
“Do you ever just want to BURN IT ALL to the ground?”
I cackled, “Yeah, all the time!”
But later I caught myself thinking, “Mmm… you know what, that wasn’t sarcasm…”
Feelings aren’t facts, but they sure are great smoke signals.
No, I didn’t actually want to walk away from the business I’ve poured my heart into since 2019. But I have been here before.
The first time I let burnout get the best of me, I stepped away from my business for almost two years. I was running on fumes for so long that I had nothing left to give.
And I was NOT about to let myself burn again.
Looking back now, the signs were obvious. I was exhausted ALL the time. My face was frozen in a permanent state of R.B.F.
Patience? Who is she?
And one of the biggest tells: when I tried to design and let my creativity flow, I’d just sit there with a blank stare and think, “Yeah… I’ve got nothing.”
If you’re a creative entrepreneur, nothing makes you feel more like a failure faster.
So this summer, I took a break BEFORE I had a breakdown.
I didn’t completely disappear. I still had commitments to keep, customers to serve, and bills to pay. I did what needed to be done, but I stopped saying “yes” to every little thing. In a healthier season, these would have been great opportunities. But in a season of burnout, these “opportunities” were adding more fuel to a fire that was already out of control.
This time, I smelled the smoke, noticed the fire, and realized I needed to get outside before the whole house went up.
For the first time in a long time, I gave myself permission to just “be” with no other motive than bringing back some joy and whimsy into my life.
This summer, I lived.
I read, colored, worked puzzles, went camping, played outside, built core memories with my family, and took scenic routes simply because they made me happy.
LIFE is what fuels the work.
And fueling a fire that’s meant to keep you warm ain’t a bad thing.
I’ve always joked that I’m just a really big kid, and honestly, I think that’s why entrepreneurship fits me so well. I get to do work that feels like play, and create for a living. But somewhere along the way, I forgot that the person who creates also has to keep LIVING. You can’t expect creativity to keep flowing if all you ever do is produce.
I’ve learned burnout isn’t random. Mine shows up around the beginning of summer and again around December. Instead of acting surprised every year, I plan for it.
I work hard during the seasons when I know I have the energy to sprint, and I intentionally leave room to breathe when I know I’ll need it. I know what my business needs to keep the lights on, and sometimes that’s enough. Growth can wait a few weeks. My mental health can’t.
When I came back from “touching grass,” the ideas came rushing back too. Designs filled my notebook. My excitement returned. And more than anything, I remembered why I love *all of this* — why I started in the first place.
Looking back, I never really wanted to burn my business to the ground.
I just needed to go outside and play for a while.
