The death of Eric Dane — beloved by many as “McSteamy” on “Grey’s Anatomy” and the son of a Navy Vietnam War veteran — has brought renewed attention to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a disease that remains as complex as it is devastating.
For many military families, ALS is not a new conversation. Veterans are up to twice as likely to develop the disease, a risk researchers still don’t fully understand. Studies point to possible links ranging from toxic exposures and jet fuel to extreme physical strain and head injuries, but there is no single answer.
For high-school sweethearts Juan and Meg Reyes, that reality is personal.
Juan, a former Air Force medic, was diagnosed in 2015 after first noticing weakness in his left hand a couple of years earlier. The diagnosis took time, but Meg said his active-duty years had already given them tools they would rely on: a mindset built around planning, flexibility and adapting to the unknown.
That mindset shaped how they approached the disease, their pursuit of care, and the roles they took on at home. Meg became Juan’s primary caregiver, and their children stepped in alongside her.
Meg said the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) “has been invaluable to us,” especially in San Antonio, where Juan is treated through a multidisciplinary ALS clinic. Instead of bouncing between appointments, specialists rotate into the patient’s room in a single visit — pulmonology, physical therapy, occupational therapy, nutrition, and more — allowing decisions to happen collectively rather than leaving patients to piece together their own care plans.
For a disease that can affect nearly every part of daily life, often at different rates, that structure matters.
“You don’t have time to wait,” Meg said. “You have to act fast if you’re going to get ahead of the disease, if you can at all.”
That urgency, and what Meg described as a kind of anticipatory grief, felt familiar.
“In military life, you pick up, you move, you readjust, you prepare, and you become resilient — and ALS is no different,” she said. “The only difference is that this is not a deployment. You can see them deteriorating in front of your eyes. And it’s hard for them and it’s hard for caregivers.”
The VA support extended beyond clinic visits. Meg said the family received help with caregiving, equipment, and even housing adjustments — support that made it possible to focus less on logistics and more on living. They bought an accessible RV. They traveled. They took an Alaskan cruise.
“We did the things that we said we would do when he retired,” she said. “We just had to modify it.”
Meg is quick to point out how grateful she is but also how hard it can be to see other ALS families struggle to access the same level of care and support Juan receives as a veteran.
Ashley Lee came to understand that value, too, but only after doing the research herself.
Her father Darrell was a Vietnam War veteran and former Air Force C-130 loadmaster. When he was diagnosed with ALS, he didn’t even think the VA was an option.
“It has a lot to do with his generation,” Ashley said. “They tend to think, ‘that’s for other guys,’ not people like him.”
But Ashley pushed forward anyway. Darrell began care at the VA in Gainesville before later transitioning to the James A. Haley Veterans’ Hospital in Tampa, where he had access to coordinated, multidisciplinary ALS care.
“It was kind of like it gave him a kind ‘Welcome Home’ he never got after the Vietnam War,” she said. “To be in the hospital and have people say, ‘thank you for your service,’ and for that to become normal in a way it never was. ALS brought him to a community he had belonged to all along.”
For the Reyes family, that same sense of community has become part of how they move forward. Juan, speaking through Meg, said he began advocating almost immediately after his diagnosis, becoming involved with several ALS organizations and helping build community for other patients. After nearly a decade with ALS, he continues that work through his writing and advocacy at Scribes4ALS.com.
