Military spouses are some of the bravest, strongest, and most intelligent people I’ve ever met. I implore you to find a more resilient species of spouse.
Our experiences as military spouses mold us, break us, and teach us that we are capable and stronger than we ever thought possible. There are the obvious deployments and TDYs we endure, the solo parenting, and the sacrifices we make to follow our spouses around the world. Then a large portion of those experiences are due in part to Murphy’s Law.
Murphy’s Law is the all too familiar adage that what can go wrong will go wrong; frankly, it’s synonymous with military life. Most spouses have their own stories to tell, and I’m no exception. We moved to the United Kingdom, and our dog almost died on my husband’s first TD. After several inconclusive tests and $3,700 later, he miraculously recovered as if it had never happened!
That very same week, I got lost in the woods driving at night for the first time, and a tree fell on my car. Needless to say, I was emotionally and mentally scarred and traumatized for the foreseeable future. It’s hard not expecting something to go wrong every time they leave, whether it’s the washer and dryer breaking or someone getting sick.
After 10 years of military life, most situations and experiences eventually become somewhat comical; however, there are some unfortunate heavier moments too. When my husband was on his first deployment, my grandfather passed away, and unfortunately, I was hundreds of miles from any family and friends, and it was only me and my 1 year old.
This isn’t to say that we all sit around waiting for something terrible to happen. But perhaps it’s more of a coping mechanism in a dark, twisty, and humorous kind of way.
Sometimes the circumstances are so unbelievable that all we can do is laugh about them, though, in the moment, laughing is probably the last thing we want to do. Usually, a big glass of wine, baked goods, vent session with a friend, a good cry, or even a blood-curdling scream seems to keep us from falling apart.
To some extent, we sit in the emotions of those challenging situations; we get lost and wrapped up in the everyday and allow ourselves to unravel. I think that’s completely normal and healthy, but eventually we have to get back up. If we were to sit around worrying about what could go wrong every time those OCPs (operational camouflage pattern), flight suits, and work boots walked out the door or stressed about every complicated scenario this life presents, I could almost guarantee that none of us would be OK. So we brush ourselves off, and we walk through the fire. And Murphy’s Law becomes this running joke to keep us afloat, and eventually, it’s just another day we can chalk up to the reality of being a resilient military spouse.
