I want to preface this column by saying my intention is to convey my thoughts in the utmost respectful and delicate way this subject deserves, especially since this will be one of the most sensitive topics I’ve covered in my writing career to date. To be honest, I’ve been putting this off for weeks now. It’s something I’ve desperately wanted to write about but at the same time, one I’ve dreaded because I struggle to find the appropriate words to properly explain my thoughts.
As most people know and were following on the news, the military world was rocked by recent plane crashes that have taken the lives of too many amazing military members. I want to verbalize how the most recent crash has hit too close to home for so many in our flying community and how this affects us as military spouses.
There’s so much about this life that military spouses have in common, but one aspect we all share, undoubtedly, is our worst fear, or rather, our worst nightmare … service men in blues knocking on our door. It’s the one thing we hope, wish, and pray to whoever, or whatever it is we believe in, will NEVER happen. We ache and cry for those whose nightmares have become their reality. When one spouse suffers in such a way, selfishly, the what-ifs and could-have-beens are alive and looming in our minds. They’re front and center and the fear is incredibly real. As is the guilt that accompanies such selfish thoughts at a time when others are hurting beyond repair.
This recent tragedy hit hard for so many of our friends and fellow spouses. It was a shockwave that rattled our flying community. I know quite a few people who knew those involved; the spouses, children, and babies who will never again be the same.
It hits hard because as much as we want to deny it or refuse to believe it could happen to us, we know we could easily be in that same position. In the blink of an eye, everything can change and that’s the realization that was brought to light by this most recent devastating situation. Honestly, it was the first thing that popped into my mind, that could happen.
We know that what our active-duty service member does is not the safest job in the world. They’re fliers. They fly through dangerous combat zones when deployed, they do and see things they’ll never fully admit or express. It’s no secret to us as spouses. But it’s certainly something we don’t think about daily. How could we? We’d never survive this life worrying every single time their plane takes off. We bury it, deny it, and avoid it, however, we cope to get through this life, we do it. But it’s situations and tragedies such as what so many have just recently experienced that jolt us back into the reality of the lives we live. And for a brief moment we allow ourselves to sit in the grief and intrusive thoughts, and we mourn those who we’ve lost as a community and pray for those who were left behind. We are united by a common devastation and loss. It’s heart-wrenching and yet, it’s true.
To those who have been through the nightmare and to those who are currently experiencing such a tragedy, to those who have lost their airmen too damn soon, please know that we stand with you.
As a military spouse on behalf of all military spouses, bonded by the unimaginable, we stand with you or behind you to catch you or hold you up. We are here. Please know that you sit in our minds and hearts, we grieve with you, and we pray for you, your family, and every single individual affected. We are here. We stand with you.
